How to Know You're Edging God out.

Warning signs are important: a light on your car’s dashboard; the sound of a siren behind you when you are driving; distant thunder before a storm hits. Doctors take your temperature and blood pressure to look for warning signs about the state of your health. We also must check for signs to alert us that our hearts may be out of alignment with God.

What are the warning signs that we may be falling into the trap of pride or fear? And what safeguards can we put in place to prevent this from happening?

During a session in which he was receiving counseling, a pastor expressed excitement about his transition to executive pastor of a multisite church. His wife, however, had recently pointed out to him that his tone was curt, and his patience was short. She told him his “inner grump” was alive and well. He acknowledged that this was his typical first line of response to challenging circumstances: he was afraid that he was not good enough to do everything the new position required.

His counselor had noticed that, as he was initially describing the situation, almost every sentence he spoke had begun with I. The heaviness in his voice indicated he felt great pressure to have all the answers and to not disappoint anyone: “I’ve got to . . .” “I can’t let people down.” “I have to work long hours, and my family doesn’t understand.” The I factor warning sign was there, suggesting that this pastor was depending on himself instead of on God.

What about you? 

Listen for the I factor in your conversations. Note any words or thoughts that depict you as less than (fearful) or more than (prideful). Notice whether you too often direct a conversation back to yourself or you interrupt someone’s story to tell your own. Are your conversations laced with Imy, or me? Are you others-focused or self-focused? If the latter, consider this a warning sign that you may be on the path to Edging God Out.

The following true story tells of an encounter between Abraham Lincoln and one of his army officers.

During the Civil War, President Lincoln was visited by Colonel Scott, a commander of the troops guarding the capital. Scott’s wife had drowned in a steamship collision in Chesapeake Bay. He had appealed to regimental command for leave to attend her burial and comfort his children, but he was denied. He took his request to Secretary of War Edwin Stanton, who also refused. In his ultimate appeal, Scott was the last visitor allowed to see Lincoln in the presidential office late on a Saturday night.

As Scott recalled, Lincoln listened to his story and exploded. “Am I to have no rest? Is there no hour or spot when or where I may escape these constant calls? Why do you follow me here with such business as this? Why do you not go to the War Office where they have charge of all matters of papers and transportation?”

Scott told Lincoln of Stanton’s refusal. The president replied with equal fervor that, during this time of war, everyone had burdens to bear. He sided with Stanton and denied Scott’s request. Lincoln again suggested Scott go to the War Department, and if they didn’t help him, Scott was to bear his burden until the war was over. Colonel Scott returned to his barrack, brooding.

Early the next morning Colonel Scott heard a rap at the door.

It was the president. He took Scott’s hands and apologized, saying, “I had no right to treat a man with rudeness who has offered his life to his country, much more a man in great affliction. I have had a regretful night and now come to beg your forgiveness.” He had arranged with Stanton for Scott to go to his wife’s funeral.

We are prone to making poor decisions when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. So we need to HALT when any of these factors are present. Take time to give your answers and measure whether or not you are in the right frame of mind to make decisions and interact with others. Always remember, it’s the Holy Spirit leading us to great and wise decisions, not ourselves. Pause and reflect before every interaction. Blessings on the journey.

You been Frustrated Lately?

The frustrations of everyday living can sometimes get the better of us. Like me, you have probably seen numerous videos posted of folks going off in a grocery story or a retail store because they were asked to wear a mask. I mean, life was sometimes difficult and then COVID-19 came along and added stress to our teachers, store clerks, restaurant wait staff, church members….well the list goes on.

The question we all have to ask ourselves is, “Will you control you or allow your emotions to control you?” See, when we allow ourselves to become overly irritated by the inevitable ups and downs of life, we may become overstressed, overheated, overanxious and just plain angry.

Anger often leads to impulsivity; impulsivity often leads to poor decision-making; and poor decision-making tends to tear down character. So, if you’d like to increase your storehouse of wisdom while, at the same time, strengthening your character, you should learn to control your temper before it controls you.

When you allow yourself to become angry, you are certain to defeat at least one person: yourself. When you allow the minor frustrations of everyday life to hijack your emotions, you do harm to yourself and to your loved ones. So today and every day, guard yourself against the kind of angry thinking that inevitably takes a toll on your emotions and your relationships.

As the old saying goes, “Anger usually improves nothing but the arch of a cat’s back.” So don’t allow feelings of anger or frustrations to rule your life, or, for that matter, your day—your life is simply too short for that, and you deserve much better treatment than that…from yourself.

If you think you’re about to explode in anger, don’t! Instead of striking back at someone, it’s usually better to slow down, catch your breath, consider your options, and walk away if you must. Striking out in anger can lead to big problems. So it’s better to walk away—and keep walking—than to blurt out angry words that can’t be un-blurted. Blessings on your journey!

Glow in the dark.

I recently relived my youth pastor years, thinking about all the students over 20 years with whom I’ve interacted. So many youth camps, retreats and special events have called for a bonfire. In the dark, we all sat around the fire, mesmerized by it’s glow. It was so dark all around us in the woods, at the edge of the river or the lake. Strange noises coming out of the darkness. Even so, we focused on the fire and sang with each other and told stories.

That’s what the Hebrew writer tells us in Hebrews 12, “Fix your eyes on Jesus”. You see Jesus is that glow in a world of darkness. He’s the one who offers hope to the hopeless, life where there seems no life, air when there seems none to breath. He promised us life and life in the abundant. He called us to say when we are weary, he will carry the weight…the burden in Matthew 11.

You see, life is not a sitcom. Some of my favorite sitcoms are Happy Days, Andy Griffith Show, The Office, Parks and Rec. A sitcom is a 30-minute comedy TV show. In the show, it begins with things going well but right away there is tension to be resolved. By the end of the 30 minute show, the tension is resolved and everyone is happy again.

Life is not a sitcom. Rarely does life get resolved in 30 minutes. Sometimes not for 30 weeks or even 30 years. You loose your job. You send out resumes. You get nothing back and the response you do get back places you financially far behind where you were.

Your significant other steps out on you. You thought you were doing well. When confronted, that person explains why it’s your fault the event happened anyway, deflecting the responsibility away from them.

You get sick. Upon the visit to the doctor, you are told you have cancer. You go to war against cancer. You eat better, your friend group is praying for you everyday, you take chemo and radiation. But it’s all in vain. Cancer wins the day.

Life is not a sitcom.

COVID-19 has wrecked the healthy economy America had built. Many have lost their jobs and careers. Many have lost relationships. The death toll is more than 100K. We’ve been locked down and shut out. We have lost community.

The recent event in Minneapolis has created a chain reaction across our great land. An unjust and inhumane act by someone in an authority position has rocked our communities. Civil unrest, hostility, & anger have fueled an unhealthy glow in our cities at night with the burning of police vehicles, police stations, and businesses.

Right now, you might be asking, “Where are you, God?” just like Habakkuk did in the Old Testament. But we as people who believe in a living God must choose to embrace and wrestle just like the Old Testament prophet. We embrace God knowing he is the giver of life and story. We wrestle with God because we don’t understand what’s going on and want to understand.

Make no mistake. Jesus Christ is the glow, the fire, the illumination we all must choose to fix our eyes on and imitate if we are going to have peace and civility in our land. Jesus, despite being oppressed, dehumanized, segregated, falsely accused, beaten, and killed, led a life of non-violence and peace. Even with his dying breath, he called for forgiveness for those who had wronged him. He calls his followers to “turn the other cheek” when wronged…to “bless those who curse you”.

It is not an easy thing to follow the risen Savior. He asks us to live out life toward others just like he did. May you, in the darkness, in the chaos, in the noise, in the protest fix your eyes on the one who is the author of life and the perfecter of our faith. May you find peace in the Prince of Peace. May we all make a decision to live into a call that will require supernatural strength. May your heart melt with love and compassion for those around you who have a different skin color, nation of origin, different language, different bank account, & different culture. May your journey be one that will be a light for those groping in the darkness. Blessings on that journey.

I've Had Enough.

I know there have been moments when you were “fed up”. You were angry with a boss, a co-worker, a friend or a relative. Maybe you showed anger on the outside but really you were hurt or experienced a heart-break or you were just anxious about something you couldn’t control.

David shows us how to deal with anger. He writes about how he feels in Psalms 109. It’s an angry Psalm. Those kinds of Psalms are called imprecatory Psalms where one invokes judgement, calamity and curses down upon one’s perceived enemies. We try not to read those because they are very uncomfortable.

Many scholars believe this Psalm is written due to a story that unfolds for David in 1 Samuel 25 (make sure to read the story now, then come back). David has an interaction with a guy named Nabal. Nabal is disrespectful of David and David is going to get his pound of flesh. In David’s prayer in Psalm 109, David lists all the things he wants God to do to Nabal. Understand, David could have done all the things he wanted God to do but David never does them. He allows God to be a part of the story. He trusts God and knows God will act justly.

David’s experience shows us that in moments when we find ourselves upset and angry, we need to ask ourselves some questions.

First, will I react or respond? David clearly reacts in this story. As followers of Jesus, we are called to respond by thinking through how we will interact at this crossroads. When someone hurts you or gives you pain, we tend to react but God’s called us to be slow to anger and respond rather than react.

Second, will I rehearse or reflect? David, in this story, continues to rehearse how badly he’s been treated and is simply ramping up his emotional state of anger. If we aren’t fixing our eyes on Jesus, we can do the same thing. So many times our anger comes from the hurt and pain other’s have caused us. We can get locked into the replaying of the story over and over until we are sick. Jesus calls us to give him the burden and he’ll give us peace and rest (Matthew 11).

Finally, will I rage or release? I don’t mean you’re going to forget what other’s did to you…that you won’t remember but you’re going to release it to God and let him deal with it. Again, David could have taken care of business but he allowed God to enter the story, gave God his burden, and God took care of it.

At the front end of Psalm 109, David is livid. But by the end, he is worshiping. It’s all because he surrenders his emotions to God. He releases his anxiety, frustration, pain and hurt to God. In so doing, he gains peace and moves through that crossroad to a much healthier and better place. May you experience release in your story. May you allow God to walk with you. May you allow Jesus to bear your burden. Blessings on the journey.