What's in your Wallet?

When I ask that question, instinctively we reply, “None of your business!” It’s uncomfortable and seems nosey. We cross our arms because we feel we’ve worked for our money, our ability to have credit and our assets. We really don’t like anyone checking on how we are financially, especially when it come to our finances and God.

But I believe we have a misunderstanding of ownership. While you did put in the hours at the workplace, and you earned that paycheck, you did not create the hands and mind that allow you to do that job. God did. You did not create the opportunity to earn a living. God did.

You and I have to come to the understanding that God owns everything. You and I are simply stewards of how we have been blessed. The Psalmist says in Psalms 24:1, “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him.”

So the question should not be “How much of my money do I give God?” but rather, “How much of God’s money do I keep for myself?” See, just rephrasing the question let’s everyone know where your priorities are.

Secondly, we have misunderstood Lordship. You see, Jesus is not just your savior but your Lord. When you publicly declared you wanted to follow Jesus, you said He was Lord of your life and that should mean something.

God doesn’t want more and more FROM us; He wants more FOR us. Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” So, live in such way, spend in such a way, store up in such a way that your life screams “Jesus is Lord and I own nothing.” Jesus is our treasure, not stuff. His desire is to give you the abundant life but you’ve got to surrender fully to him. Blessings on your journey.

But I want that...

Did you ever want something so bad you could taste it? I remember as a young guy watching Magnum, P.I. He drove that Ferrari Deno. It was sweet. I even hung a poster of it above my bed when I was at Harding University. I always wanted one of those and it is on my bucket list to at least to “rent” and drive one day.

But there are moments when what we want gets in the way of our relationships with people and God and our health. Jesus warns us in Luke 12:13-21, “Beware. Watch out…” Our selfish desires can sneak up on us. With sexual sin, the Bible tells us to “run”. But greed and selfish desire sneaks up on us. There are some things we learn from the story Jesus tells in the text.

Greed can confuse your self-worth. We have to remember “things” do not define us. Jesus does! We are sons and daughters of the Most High God. Jesus is our King and brother. We are made in his image. Nothing on earth compares to that.

Greed can ruin your relationships. Some of my closest friends and even relatives have ended up focusing on money. Every time we were together, it was always about money. And if I didn’t give them money or what they wanted in the moment, I did not love them. At least, that’s what they told me. So, because of greed, I’ve lost many relationships and some have turned into very shallow interaction.

Greed can harden your heart as well. If you’ve seen The Return of the King in the Lord of Ring series, you saw what happened to Gollum. He was a Hobbit that started out fishing with a friend. Before the day was over, they had found the ring and Gollum’s friend was dead. He lost everything after that because he only cared about himself and the ring. If we aren’t careful and live life with open hands, we’ll end up with a closed heart.

But what if your identity was all about what and how you give in your life, not about what you keep? Jesus says at the end of Luke 12, “Your treasure is where your heart is.” I’m not always good at it but I gave my heart to Jesus a long time ago. He is my treasure. Won’t you make him yours? Learning to let go of stuff is a tough one but as followers of Jesus, we learn to let go in order to hang on to him. Blessings on your journey.

The Death of Death

Death: the topic of conversation we are taught to avoid. Labels like ‘glum’ or ‘morbid’ or ‘dark’ are dismissively applied to someone who even brings up the topic. Nevertheless, through the plethora of these labels, I can hear the stifling of a revelation.

My curiosity with our greatest enemy has led me to at least one conclusion: the depths of God can only be approached when we are comfortable with the fragility of our own existence.

Death is a massive creature that swallows young and old, rich and poor, powerful and weak. The more I read God’s Word and other non-canonical writings, the mystery of our indescribable God renders death nothing more than ordinary.

Through my story death has surfaced with varying intensity: when I was 16, my grandfather died of a massive heart attack; when I was 21, my friend died in a motorcycle accident; when I was 26, my mom received her first diagnosis of breast cancer and the scare of the unthinkable but she conquered it.

In different ways and with varying intensity, death has made an appearance in my life. And you have experienced it as well. It seems like death has been a central piece of all of us.

In our fallen state, ‘Time’ is accurately defined by the master we submit ourselves to: but if death is our master, then time is merely a measurement of death’s invasion into our individual lives; However, if God is our master, then time and indeed eternal life, is a miraculous gift by which we receive him and influence others around us.

So, who is our God?

Our God…is a God who weeps. Incredibly, our God is a God who weeps. At the tomb of Lazarus in John 11, as Jesus stares into the eyes of death, he reveals to us a God who weeps.

He already knew what was about to happen; he already knew that he would call Lazarus’s name, the stone would be rolled away, and the dead would raise to life. He already knew how the story would end, and yet, we see Jesus, God in the flesh, confronting our brokenness with tears. For our God is a God who weeps.

We serve a God who is not satisfied with the pain that we feel; He is not satisfied with the sting of death; he is not satisfied with the taste of what is. Our God is a God who sobs over broken creation, who mourns over lives cut too short, who cries when we, his beloved children, cry. Our God is a God who weeps…but our God is not a God who sits idly by.

He does not sit and allow death to claim the ultimate victory. For even now his Spirit is moving, even now his love is growing, and even as the enemy is raging, our God gives life. Our God gives hope. Our God is a God of resurrection. Our God is a God who keeps hope tucked into our hearts.

For the sole desire of our king is to destroy the victories of our enemy and to embrace us in his arms for all eternity. As Revelation 21:4-5 promises: “He will wipe every tear from [our] eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’”

Indeed, Our God is a God who will set all of the wrongs right. This moment included. For our God is a good father. And good Fathers do not allow wrongs to go unaddressed, good Fathers instill hope in the most difficult of times, good Fathers stop at nothing to provide for their children. Rejoice that we have a good Father…one who will make all things new!

Blessings on your journey.

Buried Treasure

The 1985 movie, The Goonies, was incredibly fun, adventurous, and well worth the money spent on the movie ticket. It’s a story about some kids who find a map to buried pirate treasure in Oregon. The treasure is guarded by one-eyed Willy, the captain of the pirate ship. The kids need to find the treasure to pay off the foreclosure on their house so they stop at nothing to find it. Everything they do indicates where their treasure is located…on that pirate ship and in their home.

You’ve had moments when your heart was set on something. Maybe it was that first date with that girl or guy you just couldn’t stop thinking about. Or maybe it was the certain college you had to attend to get the degree that would launch your heart-felt career.

Jesus talks about our treasure as well in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6. He says, “Don’t store up treasures here on earth…Store your treasures in heaven. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will be as well.”

Jesus tells us truth about what we already know deep down. But if you’re a disciple of Jesus, it asks us to truly consider what we are pursing. Like the goonies who left everything to find the treasure, are you willing to give up everything, sacrifice everything, let go of everything in order to discover the treasure that Jesus wants to give you?

The write of Ecclesiastes reminds us in chapter 3, everything is meaningless here on earth. So if that’s true, and I believe it is, it calls us to set our mind on things above. It calls us to let go of any earthly treasure we are pursing to embrace the eternal treasure that Jesus calls us to hold on to. In the end, we’ll discover what Jesus offers is more valuable than any treasure we considered on earth. Blessings on your journey.

Bystander Effect

My undergrad is in psychology from Oklahoma State University (Go Pokes). I enjoyed many of the classes I took and learned many things about human cognition and behavior. The degree has helped me immensely as I’ve led in the context of church and people.

One of the things I did learn about is called the by-stander effect. The by-stander effect works like this. Tom doesn’t lead or take action because he believes Franklin is going to do the action or lead. Inversely, Franklin doesn’t jump in to help or lead because he believes Tom is going to do it. Therefore, no one does anything.

The encouragement today is that whatever your career or vocation, whether you are paid or volunteering…LEAD. Don’t wait on someone else to do the job. Take the reigns. Make the call. Put your best foot forward. Too many times as I’ve worked with other ministers/pastors over the last 26 years, those ministers/pastors do not lead. They are simply waiting to be told what to do and then, don’t do it well if at all.

And if you lead, your hope is that others will follow. Your hope is to bring about healthychange for the better, no matter what line of work you find yourself. Two things need to happen if you hope for change as you bring others along in the direction you hope to go. These ideas can be found in Tod Bolsinger’s book Canoeing the Mountains.

First, you must show technical competence. No one is going to follow anyone that hasn’t proven they know what they are doing. Those first 12 months “on the job” are crucial to show you have the competence and capabilities to fulfill your obligation. Take the time now to write down the top 5 things that would tell those around you that you are technically competent. These things must be measurable.

At the same time, you can begin to work on the second most important thing to bring about change. That’s relational congruence. You must take the time week in, week out to build relationships with the people you want to lead and change. This isn’t a fake moment for you. But you really desire a deep relationship with those you are working with. This can happen over coffee, lunch, game nights at the house, team work building excises…the list goes on. Just know it doesn’t happen overnight. This is a commitment over a long period of time.

Once you’ve taken the time to show you are competent and relational, you have found the influence you need to facilitate change. And know while you are doing these two things, you are leading. Change happens slowly, especially in a church context. Keep in step with the Spirit. Stay grounded in the Gospels. Focus daily on prayer and a call for God to change you as well.

Don’t settle for the by-stander effect. Be the leader God has called you to be. Take that first step. With the Holy Spirit leading you, all things are possible. Blessings on your journey.

Open the gift!

There was one Christmas when I was young and lived in Tennessee that was the most awesome. I came into the living room on Christmas morning to discover I had received so many great gifts from Santa. But one was a full sized GI Joe. He could hang on to a zip line and travel across the room. There were many other gifts but I remember that one most.

You know, there are some gifts that seem intangible…not right in front of you and obvious. Some gifts are actually with you. Sometimes we don’t even know it.

We all have been gifted by the Holy Spirit. However, sometimes, we fail to open and use the gift we’ve received. As a follower of Jesus Christ, we are called to use our giftedness for his glory and story and not keep our gift wrapped.

Paul says to the church in Corinth, “There are different kinds of spiritual gifts…a spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.” (1 Corinthians 12:4, 7). Paul goes on to list some of those gifts which include teaching, leading, helping others, healing, speaking different languages. These gifts are for building up the church and those around us according to Ephesians 4.

So, do a self inventory. What are you passionate about? How could that give glory to God? In what ways would your gift or passion help those around you? It’s time to be brave and courageous. It’s time to sit down, unwrap the gift, and start using it in your life and the lives of others. Don’t hold back. Jesus will give you the courage and ability to use what he’s given you.

Paul says in Ephesians 4:16, “Jesus makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” May God continue to bless you on your journey. Grace and peace.

Oh the Single Life!

It’s been decades since I was a single man. I look around and cringe at the dating scene today in our culture. I feel like I would resign myself to be a bachelor. It seems a little scary.

I also know the church and our families don’t make if easy to be single. Most of our ministries in our churches focus on families or couples. We don’t plan well to include single members of Christ’s body. Even with our parents and grands, we get a lot of pressure to find Mr. or Mrs. Right and tie the knot. After all, the Bible is clear early on (Genesis 3) that the two will become one.

But, have we (the church) missed one of the gifts of the Spirit in singleness? When one reads Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:7, he reminds the reader he is single, not married. The very next sentence talks about the gifts of the Spirit and we should use them to God’s glory. So if being single is a gift, the church and our families should treat it like a gift. Here are a few ideas I take away from 1 Corinthians 7 as I read about following Jesus whether married or single.

Pursue Jesus. Whatever you do, however you’ve chosen life at this stage, pursue Jesus. Maybe you are married. Together, live for Jesus. Perhaps you find yourself in a single state right now. Maybe that singleness is because you’ve chosen that path; maybe you’re dating; maybe you’ve gone through a divorce; maybe you have lost your mate to death. Paul says, pursue Jesus the Christ with everything you have. Heart and soul, love Jesus.

Paul reminds those who are single to stay sexually pure. Strive to set the example in purity for those around you. Run from sexual temptation. The world is pushing you to experiment sexually outside the covenant of marriage. Paul reminds us to stay disciplined…keep your eyes on Jesus. Don’t conform to the world and it’s thinking but be transformed by a disciplined mind.

Finally, pray for patience. Pray that God will give you wisdom and discernment in your relationships to better know what His will is for you. Pray that you’ll patiently follow Jesus and live in such a way as to be a light on the hill for your friends, family, work place and neighborhood.

Paul says when you’re single, you can focus totally on Jesus and building up his kingdom here on earth. So, for those of us that are married, encourage those who are single. Ask them to lunch and dinner. Invite them into ministry with you. Challenge them to live for Jesus. Be a person they can depend on and look to for guidance and wisdom. Everyone is welcomed at God’s table. Let’s actively engage everyone in kingdom family work. Blessings on your journey.

Parenting...sheesh!

We all had parents. Two people who did the best they could with the knowledge handed down to them. No baby comes with a handbook. I mean, what do you do if there’s diaper rash, what is diaper rash, what do I do when they cry for apparently no reason, how should I interact when they throw a fit in the middle of Wal-Mart? These are a sampling of the 1000s of questions parents have need to ask.

There are lots of stories in the Bible about parents and their kids. Any one of them could give you a picture of how to do or not to do the raising of your kids. But there is a sweet reminder in 1 Samuel 1-3 of a mom who did the right things to have a great little boy. Equally, in the same text, there is s a picture of a dad who failed at doing the things necessary to have terrific sons. In this story of God-fearing parents, we see at least three important things to do as we raise our kids to love a God who loves them.

We are called to pray for our children. Establish routines in the daily activities for prayer. Pray with your children at meal times, on their way to school, before testing, when you drop them at the Scouting event or the sporting event and when you tuck them in at night. Prayer changes things and it’s important our children see that we believe and pray to a God who is powerful but also personal.

We are called to establish expectations. Our kids need consistent rules and consequences as they grow. They never need to be guessing if today they’ll be in trouble for something they were not in trouble for yesterday. As parents, realize birth-5 years old, you are discipling your child to understand and respect your voice as the one who calls the shots in the home.

Ages 6-11, you are training your children to become experts in what you disciplined them in during their first 5 years. They become more empathetic and sympathetic during these years as well.

Ages 12-19, you are coaching your children. They are home less and less. As they get a car, start working and dating, they will be home less. So, you are on the sideline calling plays and cheering them on. There are moments when you have to take a timeout. You put your arm around them and remind them how they learned to live. Then, you let them get back in the game.

Ages 20+, you become friends. It’s a beautiful moment when your children call you friend. However, this will almost never happen if you haven’t done the hard work of the first three phases.

Lastly, we need to help our children hear and obey God. God can be heard in numerous ways including the Bible, prayer, worship, nature, and mentors in their lives. It’s important that you participate in each of these areas to show them how they hear God’s voice in every instance.

Being a parent is so rewarding but it is hard work. However, with the power of Jesus within you, you can do all things. Pour into your kids like you have limited time…because you do have limited time. Before you know, they walk across the stage and into living their own adult lives. But your hard, diligent work as a parent will pay off as your children become Christ-followers and productive citizens. Children are such a blessing and so is being a parent. Grace and Peace to you.

Davidic Mirror

I was just in Malibu, CA last week at Pepperdine University. What a gorgeous location to be renewed and refreshed. I’m not sure how students ever graduate there as the ocean is right there calling all the time. During our week, speakers focused on King David and his connection to life, love, and God. David was quite the man but not always in the most honorable ways.

David was a selfish man. You see that in 1 Samuel 17 when he fights Goliath. One of the first questions he asks in King Saul’s presence is, “What does the man get who kills Goliath?” We always hear the story of a man defending God’s honor when no one else would stand up and fight. While David did stand up to be counted, he first checked to see what was in it for him.

David was a lustful man. He wanted what was not his to take in the woman Bathsheba. She was married to one of David’s mighty fighting men, Uriah, who was off to war. David used his power as a man in a patristic society and his power as king to have his way with someone else’s wife.

That event allowed us to see David as someone trying to hide and using murder to make his problem go away. Bathsheba’s husband was called home from the war. You see, Bathsheba was pregnant with David’s baby and David wanted to hide what he did so he invited Uriah home to sleep with Bathsheba. Once that happened, David would have no worries. But Uriah would not sleep at home because his men were out in the field fighting. So, David wrote a letter to the general of his army which Uriah delivered on his way back to the front. The letter put him at the front of the fighting which led to Uriah’s demise. David is guilty of committing adultery and murder in this one family.

Yet, we read in the Bible that David was a man after God’s own heart. How? As we look at David closely, we see a flawed man who has sin in his life. But even though he makes poor decisions, God still pursues him and David pursues God. While making major mistakes, we see David never ceases to want to be near God, always seeks God, never rejects God.

And as we watch the life of David, we see ourselves in the story as well. People who have made some poor decisions and made major mistakes. Even so, God still pursues us. He loves us. David is much like the rest of us. We are much like David. So take comfort in knowing God loves you although we are far from perfect. And how are we perfect? Through Jesus Christ his son. Romans 5 reminds us that “while we were sinners, Christ died for us.” Don’t get down. Don’t be anxious. We have a real king…the most high king who loves us more than anything. There is nothing you can do to make God love you any less than he does right now. Blessings on your journey.

Love and Marriage

“Marriage is what brings us here today…” This quote from the famous marriage scene from “The Princess Bride” is absolutely hilarious. If you haven’t seen this scene before, pull it up on YouTube.

Marriage is one of the constants in my life that is calming, refreshing, and soothes my soul. It’s because my wife understands me, like no one else. I can come to her with any given issue or celebration and she’s right there with me brainstorming ways to reduce the problem to ashes. She is also my number one cheerleader.

The first marriage is found in Genesis 2 with Adam and Eve coming together. The text reveals that God saw it was NOT GOOD for Adam to be alone. Adam had named all the animals and no one was a good match for him. Thank God that was observed. Who knows how life would look if woman had not been created.

God took a rib from Adam and created Eve. Not a bone from the foot or head. I think that is important to see. A companion walks side by side through life. She is not domineering nor walked upon. We both are created in God’s image. We compliment each other. I think of Sid from “Ice Age” when he says, “She completes me.”

We are called to be spiritually united as we walk together in life. If we call ourselves disciples, we must imitate Jesus in our marriage and our family life in the way we treat one another. We are called to be emotionally available to each other to help and support one another. We are called to be physically connected as well. Plan events to do together, share ministry together, turn off your phones and social media and just be together listening to dreams and hopes and fears.

Marriage is more than a piece of paper. It’s two people fully committed to each other and giving God the glory in all of life. May you feel the love of Christ in your marriage. May you desire to lift up your partner in marriage. May your love and life be a real blessing for your spouse and best friend. Blessings on the journey.