Marriage is a Partnership

Genesis 2 and 3 remind us that Adam and Eve were in it together, during the good and bad, for life. As we look at the totality of Scripture, we see the picture painted that marriage is more than a contract or marriage license, it’s a holy covenant between two people and God.

See, a contract is based on mutual distrust. Since I don’t know you well enough to take you at your word, I’m making you sign a piece of paper that commits you to follow through to do what you said you would do.

A covenant though is based on mutual commitment. The original Hebrew word means a cutting, binding agreement. In ancient times, two people would bring animals to the agreement, cut them in half then walk through the blood of the sacrifice. In doing so, they were saying, “May I be as these animals if I don’t follow through with my end of the bargain.” It was a powerful reminder of the intensity of the promise.

In marriage, a covenant partnership is Godly leadership and mutual submission. Paul reminds Christ followers what that looks like in Ephesians 5:21-33. The first thing Paul says is that each spouse submits to the other out of reverence for Jesus. In other words, because of what Jesus did for us (He died for us), we submit to one another. Paul goes on to say that when we choose to love and respect each other, a beautiful union happens between married couples.

Your marriage will be as good as both of YOU decide it will be. You can’t always change the person you are with but you can change you. It won’t ever be easy. There is always a choice. And it will always, always, always take dying to self.

We can be united or untied. The difference is where the “I” is located. And where should the “I” be located? Submitted to Christ. If we all will do that, our relationships will be more beautiful than we ever could have planned on our own. Blessings on your journey.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Have you ever done something crazy for love? Just admit it…you have. I once had a date with my wife where we went to the lake at sunset and painted watercolor on canvas. We are not really artist but it was fun. You and I have done some interesting things for love. But isn’t it worth it?

We do tend to pursue what we don’t have. Whether it’s a physically fit body, more money, a bigger house, a better job, the perfect marriage…we run after what we don’t have. If you ever end up asking “where has the romance gone?” or “ Why don’t I feel in love any more?”, you probably have your priorities out of line. It should read like this, God is you ONE and your spouse is your TWO. If you find your priorities don’t read like this, I’ve got some suggestions to help reset priorities with your two.

When you think something good, say it. Don’t ever deprive your spouse of positive reinforcement. Hebrews 3:13 reminds us that simply saying great and positive things can help keep sin out of a marriage. Guys, pursue the woman in your life with words of affection…non-sexual affection. Physical touch is important but not for our point here. Tell her you love her BECAUSE _______________. It would mean so much to her to know why you love her. “I love you because you are a wonderful mother..because you are a great woman of God…because you brownies are to die for.” You know why you love her so tell her.

And ladies, pursue your man with words of affirmation. Let him know the positive ways you appreciate him. If he is, tell him he’s a great dad, or wonderful husband, or strong spiritual leader, or has great work ethic but don’t hold back. It will make all the difference to him.

She wants to know, “Do you love me today?” and he wants to know, “Do you believe in my today?”

Secondly, when you think something special, do it. Take off work early to get home and go on a walk together. Go to the park and talk about where you want to be next year or in 3 years. Enjoy time in nature together. Pick her car up from work early, get it cleaned and get it back before she gets off work. Send her flowers for no apparent reason. Bring her/him their favorite drink to work. Pick up tickets to see his favorite team play. Take interest in each other’s hobbies. There is so much you can do to remind your spouse how much you care about them and that you are thinking of them often.

Finally, when you want something different, be it. Sometimes, we end up pointing fingers at each other and playing the blame game. But no one ever criticized each other into a better marriage. You ultimately cannot control other people but you can control yourself. You be the person God has created you to be. You be you.

Remember, to get what you have never had, you’re going to have to do some things you’ve never done. Pursue your two with everything you have. Run after what you want for your marriage. Make God your one and you’ll find everything else will fall into place. Blessings on the journey.