Handling Conflict.

The costs of workplace conflict help us to think about the Kingdom costs of unresolved church conflict. The church’s credibility is on the line when we preach and teach about love and forgiveness while fighting within our churches. Only God knows the extent of the damage done when individuals or factions within a local church refuse to reconcile.

Could we prevent much of the conflict that happens within the church? Let me give you a H.I.N.T. to help you stop church conflict before it begins. Each letter of the word “hint” will help us understand how to prevent conflict in the church: 

H-Honor your leadership team. Satan stokes the fires of conflict and bitterness in under-appreciated church leaders and volunteers. Your leadership credibility is on the line when it comes to dealing with conflict. The way you deal with conflict can strengthen or weaken your influence. “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15). 

I-Instruct your church leaders to handle conflict biblically. Do this in meetings and leadership huddles routinely. Seek to understand the causes of destructive conflict. People often behave with self-centeredness, ego, and pride. “What causes quarrels, and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1). The Bible says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). 

Immaturity is the source of many conflicts. Maturity helps a person understand that differences in perspective can broaden understanding. Mature people are self-aware and seek to improve their weaknesses. “Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking, be mature” (1 Corinthians 14:20). Wise believers look for the hand of God in stressful situations.

N-Never assume conflicts will just go away. Time does NOT heal all wounds. Be an “approacher,” not an “avoider.”  When Adam sinned against God, he said, “I heard the sound of you in the Garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, and I hid myself” (Genesis 3:10). Adam avoided confrontation with God.

Nevertheless, conflict must be handled in a timely fashion. “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26). Avoiding conflict may keep you from experiencing what God wants to do in your life by resolving the conflict. 

The goal of resolving the conflict is not compromising on an issue to the point that no sufficient work or innovative solution is possible; such approaches lead to other conflicts down the road. Often parties must remain in dialogue for some time to make their cases and clarify their differences.

T-Tools are available to help resolve or mediate church conflict. Use them! The most straightforward tool is to follow the commands of Jesus is Matthew 18:15-20. Begin with a personal conversation. If that conversation does not help to resolve the issue, involve another mature believer. Broaden the circle if necessary with the intent of restoring adversaries to a place of fellowship.  

Another powerful tool in the Bible is to overlook the offense. “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11, ESV). This critical verse reminds us that every personal offense does not warrant confrontation and reconciliation. Often, it is best to overlook the offense and move on.

Preventing conflict is an ongoing process in your church. People who are passionate about serving God often have strong opinions and preferences. Helping people imitate Christ—the One who emptied Himself and took on the form of a slave—is one of our highest goals in pastoral leadership. (adapted from Managing Church Conflict).

Knocking on Open Gates.

The first century church was up against it in Acts 11-12. There was a major famine going on in the Roman Empire and King Herod of Israel had begun a vicious persecution of the church, starting in Jerusalem. So what do we do when difficult times hit?

In Acts 12:5, we find the church gathered and praying fervently for the release of Peter, who has been imprisoned. The other piece is that we lean in to discern the voice of God in our lives. If we put these two things together in tandem, we will find we have opportunity to see God in action and follow his leading. However, when opportunity knocks, opposition is always at the door with it.

So we can learn some things about our spiritual journey by digging into the church’s and Peter’s decisions while he’s in prison in Acts 12. Peter is hours away from a very public trial and if it ends like James’, he will have his head cut off. But what is Peter doing the night before his trial? Acts 12:6 says that he’s sleeping. How in the world do you sleep on what could be the last night of your life?

Remember the story about Jesus, the disciples and a storm? It’s night time and all 13 are in a boat in the middle of Sea of Galilee. A massive storm pops up. The disciples are scared. They are bailing water from inside the boat. They are battening down the sails. They are rowing against the current, wind and rain. And while they are straining against the storm, Jesus is sleeping in the boat. Peter had seen what Jesus does when there’s a storm in your life. So Peter sleeps while Herod knocks on the door of his life.

We also see that obedience always comes before freedom. Freedom from knowing the outcome before you take the next step. Peter is asked by an angel while he’s in prison to get up and then the chains fall off. Most of us would still be sitting there because we want details before we even moved. But Peter, gets up and the chains fall off. He puts his clothes on. You see, that’s faith. Putting your clothes on before you know where you are going.

And then Peter and the angel get to the iron gate of the prison. God opens the gate miraculously and Peter and the angel walk through the gate. You know, God will do for you what you can’t do for yourself. But he won’t do for you what you should do for yourself. Notice the angel didn’t say “get on my back”, I’ll carry you. No. They both walked through the gate. Sometimes, you just have to walk through it…the storm in your life.

So what do we discover in Acts 12 about our spiritual journey. One: there is real power in prayer. The church collectively gathered to pray Peter out of prison. Two: there is freedom in obedience. When we obey God’s calling, even when we can’t see the next step, we find freedom from the prison we are in. And finally: you have the peace the passes all understanding from deep faith in our incredible God.

Power, freedom, and peace are all available but only if you say “yes” to Jesus. Make him Lord of your life. It’s time to get up and leave the prison that’s been your home. Walk through the gate and find everything you’ve been looking for. Blessings on your journey.

Big Valley.

The year has been trying and testy. We have been challenged in our work, buying habits, school, homework, travel, church connections…well, just about every facet of “normal” life has been changed. None the less, the Christmas season has arrived! We celebrate Jesus coming to earth to live among us, create among us, die among us, and conquer all among us.

I remember earlier this year when we said, “If we can just make it to December.” Guess what? You made it! The grace of God is good all the time. But how do we experience the thrill of hope when we find ourselves in the valley.

Now, we love the mountaintop experiences with God. It’s easy to feel the presence of God when we bring our first child home from the hospital or deposit our first real paycheck from our first real job or hear from the doctor that we are finally cancer free.

It’s difficult to feel God’s presence when you’re in the valley. Moments when you receive the divorce papers or hear you can’t have children or the doctor says the cancer has returned. Or even years when you find yourself in a pandemic. So, where is God when you are in the valley?

I know this: we enjoy God on the mountain top but we do get to know him intimately in the valley. The Psalmist reminds us of some things in Psalm 84:5-7. Israelites traveled on pilgrimage to Jerusalem off and on all year long. Jerusalem sits on top of a mountain. So to get to the incredible City of David, one had to travel through the valley to reach it.

Sometimes in life to get to a place of true appreciation of God, you have to push through some pain to get to the goodness! The writer reminds us to set our mind on things of God. What you think about matters! Paul knew that and admonished us to do that very thing in Colossians 3:1-2 and Philippians 4:8. Set your minds on heavenly things, not earthly things.

You may be thinking about how you will travel this holiday season with COVID restrictions in place or how to pay for the kid’s gifts since you were downsized at work or maybe you’re facing a past holiday tragedy that you must face every year at this time. Whatever the valley you find yourself in, remember that greater is the one in me than the one who is in the world. Say out loud, “My God is going before me to prepare a place for me.” Rediscover that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you and solidify that you are more than a conqueror.

But I’m also reminded in our text the we are pilgrims…just passing through. You see, the valley is not our destination! When we find ourselves in a valley moment, remember that God will not leave you. Prepare to meet him in your difficulty. Make provision for his provision. If you prepare it, he will fill it. If you seek him, you will find him. Slow down and seek him out. God rarely reveals himself to hurried people. It’s probably why he said, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Know that God will provide strength on strength for you as you walk through your valley. We do enjoy the mountain top but we get to know God in the valley. When you feel weak he’s your strength. When you find yourself in darkness, he’ll be your light. When you are in trouble, he’ll be your joy. When you are in pain, he’ll be your comfort.

May God reveal himself to you and may you have the courage to embrace him. He’ll never leave you. He’s always with you. He is Immanuel…”God is with Us”. Blessings on the journey.

Life Remedy

Halloween is approaching. I remember as a young guy getting that bag full of candy, getting back home, sorting out what I really liked and gorging myself. Afterwards I would be sick to my stomach, wishing I had paced myself.

You know in life, we do that don’t we? We see what we think is a good thing and we go after it. We devour it, thinking it’s what we need when in fact, there is something better out there. I may think money is the answer so I work 70 hour weeks. I do get the paycheck but my marriage suffers and I never see the my kids.

I may think it’s about physical relationship so, whether I am married or not, I may seek to fulfill my physical desires and need for psychologically stroking by inviting multiple partners into my life. I may think it’s all about the title on the door so I backstab and hurt people in order to get to the top of that corporate ladder.

We have all made poor decisions in our lives that remind us there is only one way for us to be safe, healthy, relationally rich and family satisfied…it’s in Jesus we find the ability to truly live life and live it to the fullest. Jesus tells us that in John 10:10, “Jesus has come to give us (his disciples) a rich and satisfying life.” But we must believe that it’s life in Him that will be so full and so rich. And we discover some truths along the way when we choose the way of Jesus over our own life decision.

When we choose Jesus, we walk with God as his son or daughter. Paul uses adoption language in Galatians 4:5-7. God loves you more than you love your own children! I love my two boys. I’d do anything for them. It’s hard to believe I serve a God who loves me more than that…but He does! And there is no amount of accomplishment that will make him love you more. He doesn’t base his love of you on your ability to be perfect or study the Bible more or eat certain foods. He just loves you. In Jesus, you’re his son…his daughter.

And when you choose Jesus, we walk with God as part of his family. God never designed us to journey alone. We are meant to be in community. Paul uses adoption language again in Ephesians 1:5. We are adopted into the family of God. That is why the church exists. It’s the family of God. Now, like your family, there are all kinds of characters. And God’s family is the same. As we watch each other, I Iearn what it means to forgive and be inclusive and offer grace and be patient. Hopefully, you’re learning some of that from me as well. In Jesus, your part of the family and not alone in this life.

Finally, when we walk with God we walk like Jesus walked. When we say “yes” to Jesus, we begin the transformation process and become more like him every day. When we choose this life, we bring a little bit of heaven to earth. After all, Paul said in Philippians 2:5, “You MUST have the same attitude of Jesus”. If you are a disciple, there is no choice…it’s what we do. No matter the chaos that might be going on around us: COVID, job loss, relational struggles, sickness, financial hardship…nothing can steal our joy because we have a life centered in Jesus. He changes everything for us!!

So, may you choose a better life. May you say “yes” to Jesus. It’s the best choice possible. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life…” Jesus will give you the best life you’ve ever lived. Blessings on the journey.

Peace in Presence

In the quiet early morning, as the sun’s first rays peak over the horizon, we may sense the presence of God. But as the day wears on and the demands of everyday life bear down upon us, we may become so wrapped up in earthly concerns that we forget to praise the Creator.

God is everywhere we have ever been and everywhere we will ever be. When we turn to Him often, we are blessed by His presence. But, if we ignore God’s presence or rebel against it altogether, the world in which we live soon becomes a spiritual wasteland.

Since God is everywhere, we are free to sense His presence whenever we take the time to quiet our souls and turn our prayers to Him. But sometimes, amid the incessant demands of everyday life, we turn our thoughts far from God; when we do, it feels hopeless.

Are you tired, discouraged, or fearful? Be comforted because God is with you. Are you confused? Listen to the quiet voice of your Heavenly Father. Are you bitter? Talk with God and seek His guidance. Are you celebrating a great victory? Thank God and praise Him. He is the Giver of all things good. In whatever condition you find yourself—whether you are happy or sad., victorious or vanquished, troubled or triumphant—celebrate God’s presence. And be comforted in the knowledge that God is not just near. He is here.

So get up and move. God has things He wants to show you. Listen closely and stay on His path, focused on His Kingdom. Blessings on the journey.

Can I Get a Witness?

I am not sure what you have ever been afraid of. Maybe asking that good looking girl on a date. Or staying out too late and you knew your dad was waiting up. Or maybe that spider you saw in your summer camp cabin. I’ve been scared many times but one moment was in 1989 when I got off the bus at Air Force Basic Training. The drill instructor was yelling in my ear and he didn’t stop for about 8 weeks!

I’m not sure I’ve know fear though like the disciples, though. They had been with Jesus for 3 years and had seen him multiply some kids lunch, heal the sick, walk on water, and raise the dead. They knew Jesus was the Messiah. But then he was arrested and killed.

In John 20:19, it says the disciples were hiding behind locked doors. They were afraid, scared, anxious, and worried. That sounds a lot like us today with the COVID-19 scare. We too are finding ourselves hiding behind locked doors wondering if we are next.

But only five chapters later in Acts 4, those same disciples are boldly telling the story of Jesus at the Temple in Jerusalem. They are also doing miracles which gets them arrested. While they are interrogated, they tell the authorities all about Jesus, the Name above all names.

Those authorities recognize a couple of things about the disciples in Acts 4. One is that they spent time with Jesus.

I want to encourage you to spend more time with Jesus and less time watching the news or scrolling social media. When we read about how incredible Jesus was and is through his Gospel, we become challenged and encouraged to be different than the world around us. Indeed, we become more emboldened to look and act and speak like Jesus. So, find time to be in God’s Word and take on Jesus’ personality.

After I get ready in the mornings, I jump into Jesus’ story. I start my day that way. It’s some assurance that no matter what I face when I walk out that door, Jesus is with me and I know what my responses are going to be. Are we going to take precautions? Of course. But we are going to imitate Jesus as closely as we can. As a disciple, that is the promise you made in those waters of baptism.

Secondly in Acts 4, we see those disciples asked God for boldness. So we want to be in prayer. Use that social media account to flood the internet with prayer for the sick, prayer for our medical teams, prayer for hospital staff, prayer for church ministers, prayer for children, prayer for quick healing, prayer for peace and a non-anxious spirit. We need to pray for boldness to find ways to serve other people.

As we all get unplanned time at home, it’s a great opportunity to find others you can serve. Check on those older members of your neighborhood or church or workplace. See if they need anything you can drop by their home. There are lots of ways to serve those around us.

Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:6-7, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he’s done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Blessings on your journey.