Letting Go of Resentment

All of us have had moments that were less than warm. People have spoken harshly to us or treated us with contempt. Many times, these actions come from the very people who claim to love us. Often others will hear our story of disappointment and simply say, “Just get over it.” That seems dismissive and belittling.

I mean, how do I get over a non-loving father or a mother who constantly compares me to other parents, suggesting I’m not a good parent. How do I move forward with a spouse who is a bully or a close friend’s betrayal. How do I get over a spouse who cheated and ignored our marriage vows? You just don’t “get over” these things. So, how do I move forward and find contentment and joy again?

First, you need to identify “it”, it being that thing that you are struggling with. Some of us have a collection of its and most of us can identify that very time, place and person that did us wrong. It can be painful to remember but necessary if you want to get to a healthier place. The Apostle Paul says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32). So, we have to discover that thing that we are holding on to before we can even start forgiving.

Sometimes, we think to repress those hurtful things. But things that are repressed have a high rate of resurrection. So how do I know I’m stuffing things way down? There are a couple of red flags. One is you become angry over little things. You are enraged at traffic, red lights, waiting on the train, your kid spilling a drink at the dinner table.

Another flag might be you’re very defensive and over-sensitive. If anyone approaches you about your behavior and angry, you erupt and act as if everything is okay.

Sometimes, we rehearse the story of how we were hurt and by whom. You play it over and over in your head, even while laying in your bed at night. But Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4:27, “don’t let Satan a foot hold.” Any negative emotion gives away a little piece of your heart, a heart that actually belongs to Jesus.

So what do we do to get to a healthier place? We need to release the wrong doing to God. And that sounds simplistic. Biblically, that’s how we overcome when we’ve been wronged. Releasing it to God doesn’t minimize what’s been done to you. What you are actually sayings is, “God, this is so significant…so heavy, I need you to take it. I can’t carry this anymore. I know you know more than me so I’m trusting that you’ll have my back.” That’s when healing begins…when you let go of resentment and give everything to God.

The world will call you crazy when you act like Jesus but the new way of living will pay off. Don’t wait or hold back. Adopt a new, joy-filled way of living. On the other side is a beautiful marriage, kids that want to hang out with you, friends who want to be in your space, freedom and a good night’s sleep. Blessings on the journey.

Can I Get a Witness?

I am not sure what you have ever been afraid of. Maybe asking that good looking girl on a date. Or staying out too late and you knew your dad was waiting up. Or maybe that spider you saw in your summer camp cabin. I’ve been scared many times but one moment was in 1989 when I got off the bus at Air Force Basic Training. The drill instructor was yelling in my ear and he didn’t stop for about 8 weeks!

I’m not sure I’ve know fear though like the disciples, though. They had been with Jesus for 3 years and had seen him multiply some kids lunch, heal the sick, walk on water, and raise the dead. They knew Jesus was the Messiah. But then he was arrested and killed.

In John 20:19, it says the disciples were hiding behind locked doors. They were afraid, scared, anxious, and worried. That sounds a lot like us today with the COVID-19 scare. We too are finding ourselves hiding behind locked doors wondering if we are next.

But only five chapters later in Acts 4, those same disciples are boldly telling the story of Jesus at the Temple in Jerusalem. They are also doing miracles which gets them arrested. While they are interrogated, they tell the authorities all about Jesus, the Name above all names.

Those authorities recognize a couple of things about the disciples in Acts 4. One is that they spent time with Jesus.

I want to encourage you to spend more time with Jesus and less time watching the news or scrolling social media. When we read about how incredible Jesus was and is through his Gospel, we become challenged and encouraged to be different than the world around us. Indeed, we become more emboldened to look and act and speak like Jesus. So, find time to be in God’s Word and take on Jesus’ personality.

After I get ready in the mornings, I jump into Jesus’ story. I start my day that way. It’s some assurance that no matter what I face when I walk out that door, Jesus is with me and I know what my responses are going to be. Are we going to take precautions? Of course. But we are going to imitate Jesus as closely as we can. As a disciple, that is the promise you made in those waters of baptism.

Secondly in Acts 4, we see those disciples asked God for boldness. So we want to be in prayer. Use that social media account to flood the internet with prayer for the sick, prayer for our medical teams, prayer for hospital staff, prayer for church ministers, prayer for children, prayer for quick healing, prayer for peace and a non-anxious spirit. We need to pray for boldness to find ways to serve other people.

As we all get unplanned time at home, it’s a great opportunity to find others you can serve. Check on those older members of your neighborhood or church or workplace. See if they need anything you can drop by their home. There are lots of ways to serve those around us.

Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:6-7, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he’s done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

Blessings on your journey.